My Soldiers, My Friends, My Family
by ShadowBlah2
Summary: R2 Episode 5: They were devoted to him, waiting desperately for his answer. In that single moment, perhaps it might have given him joy, just a little, for them to understand for once.


**My Soldiers, My Friends, My Family**

Zero stepped out into the open. Before him stood the remains of the once great force he'd assembled in his fight against Britannia, the army that was shattered by defeat during the Black Rebellion. To him, the battle for Tokyo seemed incredibly distant, a year's worth of memories separating him from then. And yet, just the same, the time he'd spent between then and now, it hardly seemed real, as if it wasn't truly him experiencing it at all.

Because of Geass - his _father's_ Geass.

Looking out upon the rejoicing soldiers, clothed not in the white of straightjackets but again in the bold embrace of black and silver, Zero felt his spirits lighten. These men and women, oppressed masses turned rebels, hiding from a gruesome death at Britannia's hands in a Chinese Federation embassy, had not a care in the world. They were happy merely to be alive and in each other's company. It made Zero remember the few positive moments in his own life, moments spent always with his dearest sister.

Nunnally. Her whereabouts were still unknown, but would not elude Zero for long. He would find her and take her back, save her from anyone who dared use her for their own ends. It didn't matter to what lengths he would have to go, it would be done. If he had to burn the world to the ground with the power of Geass to see it done, even then, so be it. C.C. would support him unconditionally. Kallen could be counted on. Rolo... Rolo would do as he was told.

But what of the Black Knights? Zero's greatest tool in obliterating Britannia and finding Nunnally, in liberating Japan and creating a new, kinder and gentler world, was weak, weaker than they were probably even aware. No longer could they hide in the shadows, for their might was now unified and in plainsight to the Britannians. Diethard, Rakshata and Kaguya were acquiring the support needed to build the army back up, and Xingke was being very generous in his under the table deals with Zero, but still, they were backed into a corner. More pressing, as he stood out in the open evening air, with Black Knights turning to face him and muttering in suspicion of their leader, Zero knew the cohesion of the group could dissolve at any second.

Because of him. Because he'd failed them during the Black Rebellion.

Ingrates! They knew nothing! They understood nothing! They had no knowledge of the pains Zero had been forced to endure for the sake of victory. They knew not of what efforts he'd gone through to get them to this point. They knew nothing of his sacrifices. Yet still, after all the victories and all the glory he'd brought them, after but a single defeat the Black Knights were on the verge of mutiny. Despicable! Zero debated about simply geassing the lot of them and being done with it.

But he couldn't. No, he wouldn't gain loyalty by force. It was against his morals, and furthermore it simply wasn't his style. A true leader inspired his people with words; earned their devotion with deeds.

Chiba Nagisa, one of the Four Holy Swords, an elite of the Black Knights and one who bore the unspoken position of the single most racist member of the Order, pushed her way through the common soldiers to face Zero directly.

"While we appreciate you rescuing us, _Zero_ ," she spat, not even trying to hide her distrust of him, "we wouldn't have been captured in the first place if you hadn't betrayed us the way you did."

She referred to the Black Rebellion, when Zero had quit the field for the sake of finding Nunnally. Hardly a betrayal, Zero noted, but still, it was a major contributing factor to the defeat. For a second the masked hero felt a twinge of guilt, but he stayed silent and the feeling passed soon enough.

Next, Shogo Asahina, another of the Swords, decided to speak up.

"Don't you owe us an explanation?"

The veteran's words were discussed behind him by the rank and file Knights, and they too began demanding answers about why the Rebellion was a failure. After all, was it not human nature to attempt to understand their circumstances?

Ohgi Kaname's voice cut through the angry murmurs, pleading, desperate.

"What happened? We deserve to know."

Zero stayed silent. Why had he left during the Black Rebellion? It was none of their business, only his. Besides, if they knew the truth, would they ever trust him again? No, of course not. That's why he wore the mask in the first place. Among other reasons, it was so the Black Knights and the world would judge him by his actions, and not by his name or ethnicity. He'd already proven himself to be a capable leader, and they'd already proven they were itching for a reason to overthrow him. What right did they have to know the truth when they wouldn't even try to understand it? No, they couldn't handle the truth. They couldn't handle the truth of why they lost the Black Rebellion nor any other truth Zero carefully concealed from them.

That said, there was a way to appease the Black Knights without revealing too much.

"There was a matter - of grave importance."

Zero's strong, synthesized voice echoed across the courtyard of the Chinese Federation Consulate, his pace perfectly metered and his words articulated just so. The Black Knights became silent, intrigued as their leader continued.

"At the time I trusted no one to attend to it but myself. As it turned out, that was a mistake; one we have all suffered for greatly. Have you wondered why Suzaku Kururugi has risen to the rank of Knight of the Round? His promotion was a reward: For capturing Zero."

There was a collective gasp from the Black Knights. So Zero really was captured? He hadn't abandoned them after all? It wasn't his fault then, at least, not entirely. They listened intently.

"I was dragged before the Britannian Emperor, and upon learning my true identity, rather than executing me as he would have you believe, he decided it would be more amusing to keep me alive and torture me."

This was not a complete lie. Again Zero thought back to the Black Rebellion and how long ago it truly was. He thought back to how he was geassed, brainwashed, held down by his "friend" and turned into someone else, not once, but twice. First he was turned into Julius Kingsley, a general for Britannia against the EU, then again back into mild-mannered Lelouch Lamperouge, a simple student who had nothing in his life nor reason to live at all. Was that not torture?

"For a year I was imprisoned."

Imprisoned in his own mind.

"Like you. But I escaped, and now I have freed you, my comrades, as well, so that we may again begin the rebellion: My rebellion. Our rebellion. Japan's rebellion! This time nothing will stop us. We will win, for there is no future for any of us if we fail. My soldiers, my friends, my family - Black Knights, Long Live the Rebellion!"

There was silence at first from the crowd, each Knight unsure how to respond to Zero's story. Then a rising chant came, starting from a lone redhead, her blue eyes shining with tears of compassion and resolve. She wore a tiny smile on her face and she raised her fist high in the air.

"Zero! Zero! Zero! Zero!"

More and more voices added theirs to the call, their fists pumping up and down in support of Zero. Tamaki could be seen whistling, hooting and making rude gestures, as was his way of showing his enthusiasm.

"ZERO! ZERO! ZERO! ZERO!"

Behind his mask Zero smiled. It wasn't much, but for once, he felt truly accepted - truly home.

LLLLLLLLLLLL


End file.
